My name was called and I fell into line quickly, purposefully. Many were in front of me, I could feel it powerfully through all of my senses, though I could only see two or three with my eyes. The pace was ambitious and required all of my attention just to stay in step. We were making short order of long, dimly lit corridors. There were no sounds beyond the sound of our steps, a soft marching in perfect unison.
A distraction. I don’t even know what it was, but I looked to my left for one short moment and when my eyes fell forward again I could see no one.
Panic. I raced further down the hallway, just sure in a few strides I would catch sight of the one I had been following, but… no one. The corridor was so empty it was impossible to think anyone had been there at all.
Then I saw them: three doors. I opened one and started down it, everywhere I looked there were doors. I ran back and tried another… doors and doors and doors far as the eye could see. Behind the last door lie the same fate. I pushed back the tears, determined to find them. I had to find them. I started at the three doors, chose the one on the left and continued choosing doors until I was faced with the truth that I had become a rat in a maze and I had no idea where to go next.
Crumpled to the floor, I began to lament. After a time of crying about being alone and lost and out of rank, my words began to be about the Lord. About His goodness and my wretchedness. About His Knowledge and my lack. About His Strength and my weakness.
I heard a Voice say, “Now you sound like the Sea”
With my face to the floor, I saw nothing but darkness. I saw nothing of how it happened. But within an instant of my confession, my surroundings were transformed. I looked up to find myself within a large glass crystal. Each side of the many sides were outlined in gold, and I could see through it.
For just a moment I could see that the crystal was suspended just above a sheer flat face of rock so high up I could not see what was below- it was just too far. I no more than looked down and the crystal began to plummet downward almost as if control had been lost over whatever pulley system had been keeping it suspended. Wildly, the crystal crashed into what turned out to be the ocean. Waves nearly as tall as the crystal had once been, it seemed, washed over the crystal, foaming and alive. They crashed into the rock, reverberating and causing the crystal to move to their rhythm. From inside I could see the deepest blue of the ocean and the mile of white that topped and moved it all. It was breath taking I could not find fear in my heart- only awe. The sound was indescribable and deafening, like I had found myself in the belly of the waters, suddenly aware of all that goes on beneath the surface.
The reflection of a roaring lion. It made me jump. It was inside the crystal, it had to be, but where was it? I looked around and saw nothing. But in front of me, the reflection paced back and forth, roaring. Why could I not hear the roar? Then I realized the roaring sound was the same sound as the rushing waters of the ocean, they were one in the same, indistinguishable from one another.
A moment later my mouth fell open, almost without my consent, though I would have glad given it. Line after line of psalms I have known fell out of my mouth effortlessly. I am not sure how I even knew that’s what I was saying because the sound of my voice was the synonymous with the ocean and the roaring of the lion. I could sense the words somehow, though with my ears I could only hear One Sound.
Something in me knew implicitly that I had smelled the ocean before, that that’s where I had been heading, though I had not known it.
I woke up at 4:45, breathless, this dream fresh in my mind. I kept thinking that I wanted to remember it, that I felt I should get up and write it down.
But I fell back asleep… and then I dreamed that I saw my sweet friend Brittany Nye and I began to tell her the dream, as if rehearsing it over and over so as not to forget. At the end of telling her, we were both in tears and for a moment I could see myself as if I were a bird flying feet above my own head. I was radiant. Not like, the Beast in Beauty in the Beast with sunshine shooting out fingers and toes, but almost like my the skin of my face looked radioactive, it was glowing so intensely. I was telling Britt, “I am not the same. I am not the same.”
Those words rang in my head as I woke up and saw the clock blinking 5:55.
I felt compelled. I jumped out of bed, came downstairs and began typing.
In the history of blogging, I am quite sure I have written a blog like this or felt so certain that I had to write something RIGHT NOW. I often remember my dreams, but I have never had a dream like that….so I will resist the urge to feel silly about sharing a dream in blog land.
Happy Sunday morning, my friends. May the Spirit of God visit you powerfully today!